At the moment it seems to be quite hard to remember life Before. Life before lockdown in my own home. Life before the weekly Zoom quizzes with friends and family. Life before Virtual School and online University Open Days.
Before, I took for granted the simple freedom of getting out of the house to do my own thing; my part time job at the Everyman cinema in town, car rides out with friends, dinner in Reading. Now my ‘allocated’ outdoor exercise is the highlight of my day.
Before, I would’ve declined the offer of a walk in the woods with my family, throwing a ball around with my younger brother. Now, I jump at the chance to head outside with them. Life now feels very different, it feels very small.
From being little, I’ve always been excited for the future. Looking to new things, always asking “what’s next?” So it’s frustrating when I don’t know what even next month looks like. Only a few months ago my head was buzzing thoughts of a new car, Reading Festival and the excitement of visiting potential universities. I don’t know anymore. And what’s worse, no one seems to know. I’m constantly asking myself what After will look like. Will After ever be the same as Before?
Because, even though I can’t stop thinking about the day that we’ll go back to normal, I’m questioning what ‘normal’ really means. How we will all behave in the aftermath of an international pandemic? That’s something I never thought I’d be asking myself!
But it’s true, there are some things from Now that I’ll want to take with me. Some of the changes that have been forced on me I’ll be happy to carry over. I want to keep to the routine that has not only kept me sane and busy, but also seen me being more productive than ever during this unusual period where we’ve had excess time. And I never thought I’d say it but I want to cut down on some of my unnecessary spending. Having a part-time job meant that Before I bought more trainers and clothes than I really needed. Now I realise that I don’t need more of the same so as I head into After, I’ll save my money for when it’s really needed.
I’m sure we’ll all have things we want to take with us into our new After life. Have you thought about what yours will be? My Mum wants to spend less time shopping for food, just going once a week instead of what felt like daily Before. For my Dad, he wants to pack less in, to not expect too much of himself so that he can create more time to enjoy life. And at last, my brother has finally realised that spending less time in front of his computer and more time outside is a good thing.
Maybe I’m realising that I don’t want to go back to life Before. Not totally anyway.
Maybe life After will be better. I know for a fact that I won’t take as much for granted as I did before.
There’s a lesson there somewhere.
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