Wokingham.Today

NELLIE KNOWS: A year later…

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Picture: Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Head of IT has upgraded the interwebnet which has assisted streaming on telly.

He’s also become head of blood line research in his spare time and has found family he never knew he had smattered all around Wales and the US so he’s plotting routes to see them, none of them feature M4 eastbound and LHR.  BOL.

Barking out loud, I never say LOL.

Head of catering is hacked off and is getting as cantankerous as Mrs Bridges, but has had a jab. She too has done the bloodline project and is Welsh, Scottish, Irish, English, Swedish and German.

 In said research she has found she’s a descendant of King Brychan of Brycheiniog, the Earl of Pembroke and Dafydd Gam (but let’s gloss over him as he was an enemy of Owain Glyndŵr) hallelujah Welsh connections and related to Henry VIII through his sister in law Mary Boleyn and possibly an illegitimate daughter.

Daycare lead is one jab up and travelling to nurseries on an ad hoc basis, she consults Waze for her journeys. Waze being an app that helps you plot your route, it doesn’t help with directions to kitchen, garden, sitting room, desk or bed so has hardly been used in a year.

Chief of lettings has returned home with head of irrigation and three small dogs.  They operate on a different time zone and the small dogs have confused the taste testers.

Star pupil has returned to school and has had mocks, funnily enough they’ve not been dumbed down and are not referred to as mox. Thankfully. Last day of lessons is May 28 and last day of uniform is July 2. Melodic chords of Slipping through my fingers can be heard.

The taste testers are delighted to have so many people at home and enjoy thieving when they can.

We’ve not seen our favourite postman for a year, he’s stuck in the black hole of Wokingham town land instead we have a variety of temps who are initially scared of the taste testers but then become immune. The Hermes man (delivery not scent) however still remains shaken.

Head of IT has also taken on the role of home security and has worked out that every day for 12 years the oldest taste tester has barked at the postman, every day. That’s a whopping 2800 times but when you add in an extra more stupid taste tester and deliveries (of which there have been plenty) it’s nearer 4000.

Early lockdown brought us Tiger King and good weather, this latest lockdown has been the longest audition for Prisoner with mud and rain.

Bad things to come out of the pandemic? I’ve not seen people I have wanted to see, I miss words and deeds like random, impromptu, hugs, spontaneous, cwtch. I have eaten rubbish.

Good things to come out of the pandemic? I’ve not seen people I haven’t wanted to see, I’ve walked and walked, painted the sitting room and no school run.

Things I’m looking forward to? Gŵyl Crime Cymru Festival which is Wales’ first international crime fiction festival and online this year. 

Virtual events with Peter James, Elly Griffiths, Lee and Andrew Child, Emma Kavannagh, M W Craven oh and I’m on a panel with Matthew Hall the Keeping Faith scriptwriter and Aneirin Hughes who plays Tom. We’ll be chatting the night before the final ever episode so grab your free tickets.

Keeping Faith Series 3 is on BBC One on Saturday or binge on iPlayer.

Nellie Williams writes about all sorts at www.nelliewilliams.co.uk

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