Once again we’re back in lockdown
And we’re smiling through our tears
But you’ll be at an advantage
If you’ve got bigger ears
The best ones to adorn your face
Will stick out at an angle
Then upon each drooping lobe
An earring you can dangle
With prominence and glory
Displayed so everybody sees
The benefit of lugholes
Stuck at forty-five degrees
First you fit the hearing aid
Snugly tucked behind each ear
This electronic gadget
That enables you to hear
Then you need your glasses
So you thread them through your hair
Wedged up against the hearing aid
There’s little room to spare
But now here comes the problem
To save the human race
A mask is stretched between your ears
To cover up your face
Now add to that a visor
Hooked on ears with arms of plastic
To irrevocably tangle
On the mask with the elastic
So with ears out of alignment
And claiming Herculean status
They’ve got to grow an inch or two
To support this apparatus
To save our little ‘shell-likes’
From the strain of mask and visor
We’ll be the first ones in the queue
For the vaccine made by Pfizer
Failing this there’s Darwin’s theory
Future evolutionary years
When out of shear necessity
We’ll all grow bigger ears
Jean Hill
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